With a prolonged wait of something that is really making me anxious, the reveal is finally here. And I didn't expect anything, so maybe that's one of the reasons why, it didn't make me as disappointed as I'm supposed to be. But don't get me wrong the feeling is still there, it's like that itchy feeling on your feet, you scratched it hoping the feeling will go away but no, it's still there, in fact you couldn't even put a spot where it actually itches, it's just there hiding behind your skin.
Friday, 29 March 2019
Friday, 1 February 2019
Another chapter of my life has been finished. It's a very long chapter indeed, very full of laughter, tears, confusion, anger, and some new feelings I haven't yet to discover.
Yesterday, I finally finished my job as one of the people who's supposed to make everyone smarter. I don't know whether that has been achieved or not, but there are a lot of things that have been happening to me and I don't wanna say the cliche that I become a whole new different person after I went through this journey. Because I'm not, I'm still me. What happened was I get to finally know a lot more about myself, that's probably what happened with a lot of people when they finished some job, they learn to cope with themselves, with their demons. And along the way I found so many new demons that I thought wasn't in me.
I wanted to list them one by one, but I feel like this isn't the place for it, what if-- someone I don't know, someone i knew who were typing my name in the google search wondering why in the world i don't have a social media in this century being an IT student add to that and then found this little blog, then they read this. Would you still wanna be my friend if I told you my newly found demons inside myself? That sounds really creepy to be honest, it's not exactly demons that you see in the exorcism or some weird horror movies I will never watch. It's just a metaphor for some shit I don't like about myself, some shit I wanted to change, or get better out at. Ah, okay then I'm just gonna list them some place else. Here I wanted to write words that are-- umm not exactly sugarcoated, but I maybe add some stevia here and there. So here comes nothing.
Many months ago, I always envied the way my friends always travel in packs, how they got each other back, studying together, exploring new places, and they know something I did't know. So that was one of the reason I joined this organization. The screening process was shit horse, i mean it wasn't exactly a shit horse, i just felt like I could've done better. and plus i joined another organization
Yesterday, I finally finished my job as one of the people who's supposed to make everyone smarter. I don't know whether that has been achieved or not, but there are a lot of things that have been happening to me and I don't wanna say the cliche that I become a whole new different person after I went through this journey. Because I'm not, I'm still me. What happened was I get to finally know a lot more about myself, that's probably what happened with a lot of people when they finished some job, they learn to cope with themselves, with their demons. And along the way I found so many new demons that I thought wasn't in me.
I wanted to list them one by one, but I feel like this isn't the place for it, what if-- someone I don't know, someone i knew who were typing my name in the google search wondering why in the world i don't have a social media in this century being an IT student add to that and then found this little blog, then they read this. Would you still wanna be my friend if I told you my newly found demons inside myself? That sounds really creepy to be honest, it's not exactly demons that you see in the exorcism or some weird horror movies I will never watch. It's just a metaphor for some shit I don't like about myself, some shit I wanted to change, or get better out at. Ah, okay then I'm just gonna list them some place else. Here I wanted to write words that are-- umm not exactly sugarcoated, but I maybe add some stevia here and there. So here comes nothing.
Many months ago, I always envied the way my friends always travel in packs, how they got each other back, studying together, exploring new places, and they know something I did't know. So that was one of the reason I joined this organization. The screening process was shit horse, i mean it wasn't exactly a shit horse, i just felt like I could've done better. and plus i joined another organization
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